Not quite sure where to begin but my doctor is pretty sure I have lung cancer. I say pretty sure because where things are located make it dangerous to do a biopsy. There are three ways to do the biopsy all could result in a collapsed lung which could not be inflated and would probably result in death. So we will wait a few months to see if this spot grows. We did do a pet test and it is a valid spot and not a shadow or something and it is in a place where lung cancer usually starts. We could cut out the lower lobe that it is on but as my COPD has trashed the top part of my lungs, my quality of life would not be pretty.
We will have a better idea of how long I will have by the middle of June. So now we make preparations for death. All those things that need to be done like wills, power of attorney and disposal of body. And then there is what to do with all the stuff as I would not not my wife and family to have to deal with getting rid of stuff that is worth serious money. Things like a tractor and attachments, coin collections and tools.
So I start with making arrangements with cremation facilities, lawyers and junk haulers. We you live on acres of land you have junk piles of stuff you might one day use (but never do). I also have to let my child know as he lives on the other side of the country and it will be a little bit of a mess for him as his mother just will not care about much. Life is fun until you die, but it is not too bad if you have advance notice.
More to come…
So today I put some pants on for the first time in a while and reintroduced my self to my infection area (belly) and the fun of having a belt going across it. Being the wimp that I am, I quickly decided to put my sweat pants on and forget about the pants thing for a little longer.
I am beginning to think that we need a method for the people to vote on the things that we want as congress can’t seem to do anything but fight and get nothing done. I am going to think this idea through but we can’t keep going on like this as nothing gets done. I also don’t like paying these folks for doing nothing for the people they are supposed to represent.
On a lighter note, I did some weeding and started to decide what and where I would plant things this year. I also will be starting to grow some tomatoes and egg plants inside so that I can do some harvest early in the summer. Can’t put them outside as we still get below freezing most every night. It will get better in April. We are still eating the butternut squash from last year and it is getting sweeter as time passes. I usually harvest it and then wait at least two months for it to sweeten.
All for now, goodnight.
Been gone for a little while so here is the update. Thought I had a bug bite and scratched it one too many times and ended with a large infection that led to a nasty sickness. Whatever it was started with (bug or just an itch), I will have a scar about the size of a quarter when this is over. Pain, fever etc is over now with just this scab that is healing. Had to take lots of antibiotics but now am much better.
On a happier note, it was 57 degrees F yesterday with a pretty sunny day. Of course today it is 45 Low tonight around 35 and rain all day and night. Still, spring is coming and I am excited to work in the garden soon.
So the last few days have been spent clearing snow so that we could at least get out if we needed to go somewhere. While I have seen worse amounts of snow outside my window, 16 inches is still time consuming to deal with the you have 200 feet of driveway. It has started to melt and in a few days will be gone (for awhile). While it sure is pretty, if you need emergency services and they can’t get to you bad things can happen.
It is the price you pay for living in the woods. You just have to be sure you are set up to live for a week or so without power or being able to go anywhere. We have to deal with snow, ice and wind storms, as well as earthquakes and flooding. While not as bad as some places, it is a fact of life here that you have to be prepared.
Our state legislature has been working hard over zoom and have been sending emails to tell us how great they are for fighting for our rights. I have gotten tired of all the fighting (red vs blue) and now send them emails saying if they don’t start working together I will not vote for them. This is becoming a theme around here as folks are just tired of all the bull_ _ _ _.
The federal government is just as bad so they pretty much get the same treatment. Most people have become independents as they are tired of it as well and will vote the best candidate rather than vote by party. Hopefully this will work and they will get back to working for us.
So break time is over, back to work.
As I sit here looking out the window, I see about 13 inches of snow. It has fallen off and on for the last three days and is quite beautiful. It however not conducive to travel. My wife had an outpatient procedure on Thursday and we got home just as the snow started.The weather report says there is a chance of more snow tonight and tomorrow. But on Monday, the temperature will be above freezing and it will rain so lots of the snow will be gone by Tuesday.
Some of the things I like about snow are the plain white beauty covering the trees and grass and the silence it brings. The birds don’t think much of it as it makes food harder to find. The snow plow drivers like all the overtime it causes while they clean the roads and pile snow up in front of your driveway. The big payoff is that the children love to play in it and build snow men, and that is good to bring fun into their lives.
I’ve been thinking about trying to write a novel. I was once told that before a man dies he should father a child, build a house and write a book. I’ve done the first two so maybe I should get busy on the third before I die. I’m thinking it would be a thriller but not sure yet. Time I fear, is not on my side for this last act of my life.
So I don’t know anyone who likes needles stuck in them. I suppose that those on the giving end don’t mind them, but those of us on the receiving end don’t like them at all. Over the past two months I have been having lots of medical testing done and have had blood drawn (two times), a CAT scan where dye was injected ( took 3 people 6 tries to get a needle in a vein), a PET scan (one needle done by a very talented lady) and a colonoscopy which took one needle ( by another very talented lady).
So that is 10 needle sticks. I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to medical things but needles looking for veins is one of worst fears. I fear the needles almost as much as my veins. The little suckers (veins) hide, move, go flat and generally avoid the needles. When I had my second heart attack, it took nine people (two tries each) to get the blood to confirm that it was a heart attack. The last try was on one of my feet and that hurt like hell. They got the blood and confirmed the heart attack.
To make matters worse, I have been taking daily aspirin for over 15 years and that makes me bleed like a waterfall when the needle comes out. As you may have guessed, I had blood drawn today with a needle. We have reached the point where blood draws are taken from my hands and so I will have needle dreams tonight.
So awhile back my wife slipped in the shower and broke a finger. We realized that we needed to do something before one of us gets really hurt. So for about $11,000, we got a whole new fancy shower with seat and shelves and grab bars. Did I mention it has a seat?
Now we have a new problem in that we use more hot water and take longer to shower. But boy is it a dirt remover and stress reliever. What makes it worse, is that we have our own well and septic system and don’t pay monthly bills for water and sewer. Did I mention it is a stress reliever?
The best part is that after a shower you are ready to fall asleep. As you have probably guessed, I just took a shower and now am going to sleep. Good night and sweet dreams.
Yesterday I discovered that a young person whom I mentored back when I was working had died. She was only 52. She had many times had brought a smile to my face. This has me bummed out and I have no idea how she died. As it happened in 2011, I’m not sure who to contact or if I should contact. I would hate to bring her memory back to focus for those who were close to her.
I’m not sure if I will continue to look up people from my past as this was totally unexpected. This is going to take some time to process.
So a few days ago I was bidding in an online auction and won a loose pink sapphire. It was 8.17 carats and looked pretty good in the picture. I’ve bid and won things before from this auction house so I was not worried about the purchase even with the no return policy (unless they made a mistake or something like that).
I had been wondering what to get my wife for valentine’s day and this was it! I could not wait till the 14th so I gave it to her and she has been floating around the house in between looking at it and trying to decide what kind of setting to use.
I think I did good which makes me happy and that is it for today.
With Covid 19 still in full swing here and like everywhere else, the vaccine is mostly unavailable and I have yet to go some place other then the doctors office. I even had a tele visit from one of my doctors so I could avoid going out. It has been about a year since I was able to go do some shopping or out to dinner.
As I have been retired for awhile I’m used to being home a lot. Unlike lots of folks I have land and I can do things around the house and as long as the internet works I’m somewhat content. I do wonder about folks living in high rise buildings and the limited choices they may have to keep their sanity.
On TV I see terrible lines of people waiting to get some food as they have lost jobs and maybe even their homes. All this is awful. Then I see our congress fighting over whether there should be assistance checks and extra unemployment money. This is just wrong. Congress should get those checks out yesterday.
We have many problems that are long over due fixing. We need to get busy.